Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays for 2010!

Vintage art and a poem from Child Life #1 (1928). Words by Marjorie Barrows, art by Margaret Whitman.

I'm gonna be your Santa Claus even if my whiskers ain't white

Christmas Eve Blues
performed by Blind Lemon Jefferson (1928)



Oh Mama! This is goin' to be a hard winter.
Look at how it snowin'. Baby won't you hear me moan.

Now it's the day before Christmas
Mama won't you hear me moan

Now it's the day before Christmas
Mama won't you hear me moan

If you take me back, baby
I'll get you anything you need

I had a good chance,
Baby give me just one more

I had a good chance
Baby give me just one more

I will change the way I'm loving, like you never have been before

I know I did do wrong, I'm just as sorry as I can be
Sorry as I can be

It's the day before Christmas,
Mama please come back to me

Mama don't turn me down on this Christmas Eve
Mama don't turn me down on this Christmas Eve
I cried about you so hard done wetted my whole coat sleeve

It's the day before Christmas, Let me bring your present tonight
It's the day before Christmas, Let me bring me your present tonight

I'm going to be your Santa Claus even if my whiskers ain't white

Christmas Eve Blues, fool

Santa Claus wears a Red Suit, he must be a communist

Santa and San Diego's KGB Chicken circa 1978.
Photo by Barry Fitzsimmons, post title by Arlo Guthrie.

Santa in Cowboy Boots

While most sites are posting the same old Christmas song videos here is my humble video entry which I can pretty much guarantee no one else has ever posted before because...Well, listen for yourself.

Cowboy Santa from the cult classic Girl In Gold Boots (1968). Words and music by Nick Busillo, sung by Larry Cartell.

Do Not Tease the Golem

Top Secrets #2 (1949).

Newer every day

Today's my birthday so I'm taking it easy and hanging out with the family.

I'll tally up my loot and make a list. I always carefully analyze what I get so I can later destroy those who gave me stuff by bestowing them with amazing, impossible gifts on their birthday or holiday.

Mysta Mondays and the next chapter of early female empowerment in comic books will post sometime tonight after I take my nap and chase those kids off my lawn.

Let there be fireworks

A special message for those driving tonight: If you want to watch the fireworks then don't be a jerk. Take the time to pull over off the road to enjoy the spectacle.

Why the PSA? Historically, there are multiple accidents along I-5 near the Mission Bay area during a fireworks show. I'm going to be passing through the area about that time taking my wife to work and I don't want our lives ruined by the gawker behind the wheel who is distracted by the pretty shiny up in the sky.

Loot is what she lived for

Not much to this story from Wings Comics #74 (October 1946) other than the great cover and the page featuring the shot to the face. It is noteworthy that Madame Hell Hawk went to jail at the end and didn't betray her fellow bandits due to some good American loving from Captain Wings.

Valen-Treasures for Valentine Day

Have fun!

Child Life (February 1957).

Operation: Awesome Christmas

Usually I could give a hang about the Holidays. This attitude is due to so many years in the military, where every day was just another work day. Traditional family celebrations were always delayed or shifted around because somebody had to be out there in the keeping the Communists and South American Drug Lords away from the nuclear missiles and it was usually me. You are welcome. Plus, the whole religious aspect of this part of the calendar is an annoying, laughable sham promoted only to enslave the stupid and gullible in order to sell off all the crap that fills the shelves of the local Woolworth.

Yet this season is different. For the first time after several years I've finally paid off enough debt from my Stupidlandia debacle so I have some extra cash to throw around at the family. Thus began Operation: Awesome Christmas.

I can't post what I'm getting everybody here on the off-chance the family will read it here. They have never as far as I could tell ever visited the site but there is always a first time and I don't want to spoil the surprises. Some of the gifts will be expensive, some not. What I plan is to carefully evaluate each member of the gang and find a present that will blow them away with awesomeness. There is nothing they could give me that would not look like manure in comparison, and not the good manure, either. More like that cheap off-brand manure you get at Super Discount Sav-A-Lot that is manufactured out of feces from animals other than cows, sand from foreclosed schoolyard playgrounds and expired Fig Newtons.

My intention is to completely crush the other members of the family with their gifts. I imagine Christmas morning will go something like this:

"Here, honey! Open your present."
"Oh. Thanks. A $10 gift card to Blockbuster. This will come in handy if I ever go back in time to when a store was open. Here, now open yours."
"OH. MY. GOD. SHRIIIIEEEEK!"
"Yep. That was the best [redacted] on the market. Brand new, upgraded, one of a kind and certified antique [redacted] I could find. I had to bribe the store owner to sell it to me, threaten a puppy and kneecap the guy in front of me in the line so I could get the last [redacted]."
"SHRIIIIEEEEK!"
"Excellent. I totally win at Christmas."

Yeah, I'm going to rule Christmas morning this year. I'll post the results after the Holiday.

Happy Halloween

Drive safe! Lots of children and teens out there on the streets. Tonight of all nights don't be in such a hurry to get to the house/liquor store/bacchanal. For pity's sake, put down the bong long enough to get to your destination in one piece and without leaving a trail of destruction in your wake. I live and work in a college area so I know of what I speak.

Calling All Girls (October 1960).

The Bane of Toastmasters

Here is the Schoolhouse Rock educational video from 1975 that ensured that no one of my generation will ever be able to recite the Preamble of the Unites States Constitution without unintentionally speak-singing it.

Vocals by Lynn Ahrens

I can't tell how many times I have heard someone stretch out the words when saying the phrase "The-uuhhhh-uh-uhhh United States of...America." Such is the power of the insidious meme.

Happy July 4th!