You pro'lly think the dudes who hang out at your comic shop are kinda weird... but I'm thinkin' they got nothin' on this brotha Phoenix Jones, leader of the Rain City Superhero Movement...
Apparently Phoenix Jones runs the streets of Seattle confronting petty criminals and would-be drunk drivers. He claims he started wearing a mask and makeshift costume to identify himself as a crime-fighter. Despite it's shabby appearance, Phoenix's suit conceals a bullet-proof vest, and combined with his taser/nightstick and can of mace, constitutes the beginnings of a superhero arsenal.
I Gotta give props to my dude
K!ser who posted this, because I had seen people talking about it on social networks but not bothered to check it out until I saw it on
his blog Invisible Soldier. K!ser really got my wheels turning when he suggested that the existence of these so-called superheroes meant there were pro'lly gonna be super-villains too, and he coincidentally posted the video below, where Jones elaborates on an incident where criminals got the upper hand on him. I think that video tells the first story about the flip side of the superhero coin.
Lets say for arguments' sake that this dude is not kidding around. He really tucks his kids in at night and puts on his ill-fitting super-suit and goes out breaking up fights, chasing car-thieves and generally putting himself and his friends in harm's way in the name of justice and stuff.
I have been reading comics and hanging around other nerds long enough to know that others have thought of this, but this is as far along as I personally have seen it go. When I was a shorty, I got with friends and we wrapped our elementary school brains around the concept of transforming ourselves into superheroes at length, but we always ran into the same road block: The ass-whupping Phoenix Jones took is inevitable, so I started making comics instead.
Now, when I look hard at this story, you know what it looks like to me? Phoenix Jones: Year One. Assuming these Rain City dudes are not just doing this as a publicity stunt for a comic shop or some graphic novel one of them is working on, AND assuming that getting his nose broken at gunpoint doesn't shut it down,
this is just the beginning of this story. A question I asked immediately: who beat him up, and did they unmask him? If so, they know who he is, and if not, why not?
Did they lay a trap for him, HOPING he would intervene? Either way, that's some supervillain shit right there...
At the end of the Year One-ish movie
Batman Begins
, the not-yet commissioner Jim Gordon suggests that Batman's arrival on the scene has actually spawned a proliferation of costumed villains by showing him the Joker's calling card. In addition to setting the stage for the massively popular sequel
The Dark Knight
, this bit of dialogue drops the often-employed axiom that
the existence of superheroes by their nature inspire criminals and nutjobs to become equally super-villains in response. It's a chicken-or-egg question that's asked a lot in modern comics, and if the next school shooter, kidnapper or cannibal serial killer is caught wearing a mask and matching underarmour suit, we'll have our answer.
But that's not the only way this story can go, of course. Really, this whole business reminds me of
Watchmen
, the Alan Moore/ Dave Gibbons collabo that inspired the recent
Zack Snyder opus
not to mention decades of depressing, wordy knock-offs. All the superheroes in
Watchmen start out like Phoenix, all altruism and flying fists and elbows, but their experiences darken them to the point that when my sister watched
the movie, she said to me "I can't tell the good guys from the bad guys"...
In fact,
I'd say this humble friendly neighborhood crime-fighter is one good ass-whupping away from becoming Rorschach, the finger-breaking, midget-smashing man without pity who is easily the most popular (and in my opinion the most likely to exist) character in
Watchmen. Like Phoenix, Rorschach's reasons for fighting crime were innocent enough. And he was content to simply thrash criminals and leave 'em for the cops too until the constant contact with the dark side of human nature pushed him over the proverbial edge. Phoenix Jones seems like a wholesome guy and a tough customer, but if criminals set their minds on breaking him and he refuses to hang it up, a probable outcome is that his own tactics become more and more severe. Already showing a willingness to use violence sparingly, Phoenix Jones' restraint will be tested sorely if he stays in the crime-fighting game, especially once things get personal with the criminals...
So far, I haven't even mentioned the Rain City Superhero Movement teammates that Jones has inspired at all, but they contribute to the
Watchmen connection as much as anything. In the story, the absurdity of grown people dressing up in costumes and running around punching and kicking people is addressed often.
Unlike the uber-cool design and direction of Snyder's movie adaptation, the deadpan drawing style of Dave Gibbons on the comic really forces you to face up to how silly people look in costume, and the Rain City dudes looked downright cringeworthy on
Good Morning America. If this has to continue, I'm hoping that some rich benefactor or government shadow agency will step in and fund these cats so that one dude will be able to retire his bathrobe in favor of a better ninja get-up. Maybe they can bring in someone to redesign Phoenix Jones' mask and costume so they match too. I mean, damn! Get it together, fam! But seriously, I for one would love for these guys to be outfitted with advanced non-lethal weapons, a bunch of tricked-out motorcycles and costumes that rival the Hollywood designs.
Honestly,
even though the nerd in me would like to hope for the best, it seems like this can only end badly. If he doesn't quit, Jones will probably get killed or maimed doing this, and becoming an ultraviolent criminal vigilante or worse seems like the next most likely outcome. Who knows, he might even become corrupted into a super-villain himself, like Daredevil in the recent
Shadowland
crossover, or that dude the Plutonian in
Irredeemable
.. Like Harvey Dent says in
The Dark Knight, "You either die a hero, or live long enough to see yourself become the villain".
We'll see...
holla!
-samax.
films and learned from their mistakes. This time, they will replace the dogs first!
director Michael Bay will pay it. He's definitely got the bread...
type isht...
Why not create ways to power these things on waste instead? I mean, the flies get their food from poop, so why not cut out the middle man and create robots that are powered by sewage, or urine, or dust, or compost. Humans produce tons of crap (pun intended) that we don't want or need, so when are we gonna close the loop? Nature uses waste to fuel life, so why not imitate that, instead? I'm actually surprised this kind of technology isn't common already... remember that DeLorean that ran on trash from the Back To The Future trilogy
? Yeah, we need our electric cars, and want our flying cars, but give me that urine powered, time-traveling jet-pack! That's an idea that's worth it's weight in liquid gold!
creator, Jimmie Robinson. Click here to read the interview! I'll meet you in the comments if you wanna talk about it!
(whose first law of robotics doesn't allow a robot to harm a human being) would probably not approve, but the researchers suggest it's necessary to create robots that CAN'T hurt humans (even by accident), not just to program them not to... To read the full article on New Scientist's website, click here. Hopefully, a few wrongs will make a right, huh? Still feeling Robophobic? click here for more...
