A star on earth and the heavens

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

New comet found

San Diego, Ca. - (HMCC News Service) - Dedicated staff at the Hayley Mills Celebratory Complex Orbital Space Platform have announced the discovery of a new comet. Originally detected by the HMCC Deep Space Telescope in April 2011 the object was confirmed as a comet in a joint effort by NASA and the HMCC.

A preliminary orbit calculated by the HMCC has determined that the newly discovered comet, named HAYLEY-BOPP by an overwhelming number of raised hands supporting the designation, will swing by the planet earth in an orbit roughly the same distance from the Sun to the planet Venus.

Scientists have reported that the comet is unusual in its chemical make-up. Rather then the "dirty snowball" of ice and frozen gases that most comets are made of HAYLEY-BOPP is unique and atypical. The HMCC has determined through rigorous peer-reviewed science that HAYLEY-BOPP is made of pure, crystal clear water as clean as a mountain spring. "Cleaner, even." Claims the staff of the HMCC. "We suspect that the water is so pure that if a Maryland sewer rat were exposed to this celestial super-fluid it would transform into an immortal puppy that barks rainbows."

Below is the first photograph of comet HAYLEY-BOPP as recorded by the HMCC Deep Space Telescope. Coincidentally, the comet structurally resembles screen and television star Hayley Mills.
"Not so unusual." Claims Sleestak, the leader of the HMCC. "In a mysterious, infinite universe it is inevitable that Hayley Mills will appear almost everywhere you look. We all expected as much, hence the need for the Deep Space Telescope. It merely confirmed what we already knew, that Hayley Mills totally rules not only on earth but in space as well."

The HMCC also reports that while the path of HAYLEY-BOPP will bring it relatively near earth the distances between the orbits of the comet and the earth are "mind-boggling" and HAYLEY-BOPP is no threat to the planet. Says Sleestak: "HAYLEY-BOPP poses no danger to the earth at all, though of course there are always some doom cultists that are scared of things they don't understand. Yesterday the HMCC received a fax from the Lindsay Lohan Fan Club signed by both members pronouncing doom unless the comet is stopped and sent back into space. Oh, and Lindsay wants to know why Hayley won't return her calls."

Dance Craze

It was on this day minus a few days give or take one or two years ago that Will Ferrell did his best to ensure there ever being a hard-SF version of The Land of the Lost. It would be easier and more profitable to rip off the concept of LotL and package it as something new and original than use the Krofft characters ever again. Die in a gutter, Will!

Do the Sleestak!

Beware the Sleehawks

Sleestak, thy name is vanity

Thinking about buying a vanity plate for the car even though I'm not a tool bag. 'Slestak' is obvious and I like it, though 'LOSTROR' and 'LSTROAR' has an appeal. The 2nd and 3rd being the last word and action from the Land of the Lost theme where Wesley Eure sings "...Living in the Land of the Lost Lost Lost" and Grumpy the T-Rex attacks the camera and roars. I like the 3rd example better than the 2nd because 'LOSTROR' can read as LOS TERROR and I don't want that.

The third style of plate would be difficult for anyone to figure out but part of the fun of an obscure license plate is explaining to confused people what it means. Good thing I'm already married for life because that much geek displayed in public would ensure I'd never have a relationship with a woman that didn't first require funds being handed over to her.

'HLYRULZ' is the Hayley Mills gag plate I put in photos to conceal real license plates and while I think it would be great to have I don't think my wife would appreciate it. She doesn't get the whole Hayley Mills obsession. Some people are just born broken that way.

Special S

This speech balloon on the back of some boxes of crackers is supposed to be a means of affirmation for women with low self-esteem to feel better about themselves. The idea is that the customer writes on the back of the box what they expect to receive for eating allegedly low-calorie or small-volume snacks. They then become less depressed or something.

In reality it is affording the staff of some grocery stores plenty of opportunities for pranks where they write or place a sticker on the back of the box and replace it on the shelf, causing paininthebuttery to ensue.

Then of course, the company making the crackers is just foolish in encouraging people to upload their own affirmations and also allowing them to create their own commercial using the uploaded photo.

Heh. When will they learn?

Sleestak on the Edge of Forever

I know I'm the only one, but the thought of Kirk and the Gang traveling through time and risking Universe-altering paradox to stop Enik the Altrusian from winning Final Jeopardy is hilarious*.

Just think, if I was waiting in line at the San Diego Comic-Con this art would not have existed. The road not traveled, indeed!

* The winning answer was "Who is Hayley Mills?"

To Do Today

Update dead links to those awesome Cowboy Sahib stories.

Clean up that crappy copy of the next chapter of Futura to post tomorrow (get that good copy scanned while I'm at it).

Watch that classic Doctor Who episode where Susan gets abandoned on the ruined Earth, thus laying ground for the next 4 decades of Susan-substitutes.

Contemplate my future without having to resort to booze afterward to cope.

Continue war of wills with that online auction seller who may or may not have shipped that item I bought. I suspect I won auction at price lower than seller wanted so long delay might be in hopes I cancel order. I must be victorious.

Scan those vintage crochet magazines from the late 60s and early 70s.

Give dog bath.

Take car into shop.

Frown at news reports of oil spill in gulf but do nothing.

Read new comic books and file away.

Watch wife sleep.

Point at image of Joran van der Sloot on monitor and yell "Daddy can't help you this time!"

Look for alternative to itunes that won't delete songs I have owned for years from the collection. "This copy of your media file is no longer available," my foot.

Take nap.

Cold Dead Sleestak

It's my 2nd Amendment.

The True Reason for the Season

This is an Operation: Awesome Christmas update!

As intended I completely crushed the gift-giving abilities of everyone else in the family. Making everyone else look lame and silly by comparison has given me such a warm and happy feeling this holiday season.

Here is what I gave!

Mom: Made her mortgage payment for her. Didn't know what she paid each month so I just threw money at the bank. Turns out to be a payment and a half. She cried a lot. I win at being the best child.

Dad: One of those watches from Japan that forces you to do math calculations to figure out the time. He is really into gadgets like that.

Sister: Professor Marvel county fair banner recreation prop. As a Wizard of Oz fan, she plotzed.

Nephew: Screw that guy. I gave him 20 bucks.

Son: Drum set and LP player that plays and records vinyl to a computer. The son is really into my extensive LP collection which includes 75s, 45s and many, many albums from early Motown era to the late 80s so I let him have that. Also gave him money.

Wife: Jewelry and a nifty laptop. She previously had little interest in computers beyond playing Bejeweled and Mahjongg on my PC until I got her a Purple Netbook, which she uses for communication when out and about or traveling when texting isn't enough. From that experience she wanted a laptop of her own so I got her a nice one. The jewelry consisted of several sets of earrings. While wandering around the stores if she mentioned they were nice or showed some interest I went back later and bought them for her.

The Chihuahua: A bag of chicken treats, a few chew toys and a coupon good for one incident of pooping in the house.


What I got!

Land of the Lost Board game and Safari Shooter!

Sleestak mask! I have no idea what to do with it. Maybe put it on a wig mount and in a glass case? Still cool, even if it is from the stupid movie.

The Great Anti-War Cartoons from Bully!

A t-shirt 2 sizes too small!

100 bucks!

Wallet, pen and watch set!

So the day turned out pretty much as I predicted. Everyone else in the family is full of shame and I went home full of the knowledge I totally kicked everyone's asses.

Don't forget to have a Hayley-riffic Christmas!

Spot the Secret Sleestak

Everyone has heard of "Hidden Mickeys" right? Where Disney Imagineers inserted Mickey Mouse images in most of the attractions at the famous theme parks?

Well, much like silhouettes of the famous mouse appear all over the Disney theme parks so do representations of the Sleestak from the classic 70s television show The Land of the Lost appear elsewhere! A fan site commenter somewhere made the assertion that the statue of El Cid in San Diego's Balboa Park contains a Secret Sleestak! Can you find it?


El Cid, by Anna Hyatt Huntington. Installed 1930.

Be First Back To Your Cave

This is an Operation: Awesome Christmas update!

I am a difficult person to buy presents for. If it isn't the newest Gerber multi-plier my wife has no idea what to get me for special occasions. So some of the time we agree upon a budget and I buy myself something nice. This year for Christmas we did just that and I really scored.

After more than a few unsuccessful years trying to find a vintage Land of the Lost board game for my own I finally managed to snag a good specimen. I had searched for the LotL game from the first series in an on-again, off-again fashion for a few years now. Professional collector resources were ridiculously expensive and the grifting nature of the sellers of most auction sites made my attempts to buy one exercises in frustration. Bids at a more than fair price were routinely lost at the last possible second as Seller ABC, under the guise of sock-puppet Buyer ACB, purchased the item from themselves to prevent it from being sold at less than what they wanted monetarily.

Discouraging, but I knew that interest in the 2009 Land of the Lost movie would see a greater proportion of LotL-related merchandise for sale than were previously available. While the studio predictably did not market a line of toys there were a few promotional and licensed memorabilia items available. One internet pal has sent me on several occasions promotional gear from the film such as a shirt, compass and hat. That was cool and was very welcome.

It was over the course of the last several weeks I managed to successfully purchase two examples of vintage Land of the Lost merchandise. My experiences with the sellers were positive and not merely because I won the sales but because they acted like professionals running a business, something that is sorely missing from much online retail.

Here are the two recent acquisitions to my collection of Land of the Lost memorabilia. Click the photos to make them Dino-sized.

Safari Shooter
The first game I purchased was the Land of the Lost Safari Shooter pinball game from 1975. It is in excellent condition and if I ever go insane I'll take it out of the wrapper. The backboard image for the pinball machine is pretty sweet and I'd love to take it apart just to scan it. If I ever find one for real cheap that is a mess I will. More than likely it will go in a shadowbox and get hung on the wall.


Land of the Lost game
The second item is the big prize and is the favorite of the two. It is the 1975 Land of the Lost board game by Milton Bradley. It is relatively rare to find one of these games in acceptable condition and this one is in really good shape. Here are photos of the box cover, inside cover, rules with adjacent spinner and the game board.

This is the best Christmas ever.

Note: I'm not usually one for watermarking my images but I put a bit of time and effort into acquiring this awesome vintage game. I did take pains to avoid placing the LTMS logo over the image itself because I like to share. If someone is going to gank these pics and use them without attribution or go so far as to slap a 'Mecha-Droid Ten' logo on it and act like they own it then they are going to have to spend a few minutes working for it.

She is dead to me

Along with The Proposal and Drag Me To Hell the spouse picked up the Land of the Lost DVD which, as expected, was released with no fanfare and less advertising in under four months after the theatrical release. Additionally, the DVD showed up on store shelves on a Saturday and not the usual Tuesday that most retail outlets schedule for their weekly movie release dates.

When I asked the wife why she spent money on the disappointing Will Ferrell feature she shrugged and said she knew I liked Land of the Lost. It is like the last 20 years of marriage never existed.

Since the wife is deaf she typically enjoys visual humor and the awkward slapstick that Ferrell and company attempted kept her interested until the end of the film. The DVD also satisfies my completist urges for anything associated with Land of the Lost, but just barely. I doubt I will ever watch it again unless it is to compare it to some future and far superior treatment to the 2009 version, much like people who watch both the original The Day the Earth Stood Still and the stultifying Keanu Reeves release in one sitting. Really, though, I would have been less annoyed if she had purchased two copies of The Proposal.

Rolling Back The Years

Before Rick Marshall met his terrible end by bouncing off the steep walls of the Grand Canyon he made a few detours through time and space courtesy of the same rip in the fabric of the universe our favorite World War 1 era puppy Schatzi fell through way back in Star Spangled War Stories #148.

Who loves a retcon? That's right, we all do! When a retcon is mashed-up with a cross-over then it is like Blogiversary in July!

Yep, I started this site on this date back in July 2005. Or was it 1992? You never know with a retcon!

Thanks to all those who linked, read, supported, critiqued, ignored, picked-apart and gave advice over the years.

Special thanks to Marionette, Bully and his pal John, Dr. Zauis and Comics Should Be Good.

If I left anyone out it is because I suck but rest assured I appreciate all you did, even that one mean guy I won't mention, because whatever little I do is better because of it.