Paper or plastic?

People that go to the store to buy just one apple and then ceaselessly giggle over the product code being '4020' is probably one of the greatest arguments there is against legalizing marijuana. Can't you kids handle it? It's embarrassing. Seriously, not cool.

I imagine a bio-degradable pipe that can be eaten or disposed of otherwise is easier than throwing a metal pipe out the window when the cop car lights turns on and is cheap enough to keep buying so mom won't find anything incriminating while searching your room. But are you really fooling anyone? Most telling is when I give the group of teen-aged girls purchasing just one apple among the six of them my best fatherly disapproving stare and one starts eating it, meekly claiming, "I'm really only just hungry."

Sure you are, sweetie.

Honestly? Don't care. Just make the penalties while driving under the influence or being stupid while intoxicated too horrifying to contemplate. If this keeps up some politician is going to demand that like cigarettes no one under 18 can buy fruit.

You can bet that when Hayley Mills buys an apple it is for eating.

The veal of vegetables

Baby carrots are the venison of the vegetable world. This is because they are not grown into such a convenient shape and size like baby corn is. Rather, a regular carrot is chopped, shaved and whittled down to a fun sized snack. A similar process is used in making veal, which is the tasty result of a calf being ripped from the beating womb of a cow. Such waste.

Annually millions of pounds of carrot shavings are then discarded into the streets creating traffic jams or toasted and made into non-caffeinated coffee substitute. Furthermore, a bag of baby carrots can cost the consumer $7.99 or more while a few bunches of carrots that the buyer would have to wash and cut themselves costs less than $5.

It is in Maryland that sales of baby carrots are the most brisk. This immoral act of environmental crime is ameliorated by the fact that for the most part anything sharp enough to cut carrots in the state of Maryland is typically used for preparing meth or stabbing neighbors, or both, usually in the same evening. Baby carrots are most appealing to children and it would be wrong to use blood-stained, meth-permeated knives to cut up carrots and then feed them to kids.

So already prepared carrot pieces manufactured in a smarter region and imported are preferable to warping another generation of Maryland spawn by getting them hooked too early on drugs and the taste of blood. It is better to delay the inevitable until they can be securely housed in a Super-Max prison jail instead of the rotating doors of Juvenile Hall. Somebody has to think of the children.

Or maybe it was demons

It's been months and months since I have fallen ill, corresponding with the decision to stop letting customers use my personal pen to make notes or write checks at the register. I rarely got sick before I worked in retail but shortly after I started I kept having various health issues that just wouldn't stop. I suspected it was exposure to customers, raw meats and blood and relatively unsanitary conditions from shared keyboards, phone handsets and other equipment.

A few weeks ago I got sick again resulting in a short hiatus. It felt like it was the same sort of respiratory and intestinal affliction I always got when customers used my equipment or I failed to clean the keyboards and phones we all share. This is an illness we all share at some time or another and you can actually track the progress of it moving through the store like WHO tracks disease through the members of a remote village.

No telling how I got the old familiar germs but some weeks ago one customer hacked and coughed directly in my face and I could feel the warm death-spray spatter into my face. Of course my first reaction was a surprised "What the hell, dude!" The anger followed nearly immediately and I let the guy have it. He was not at all apologetic, just stood there and refused to respond or meet my gaze. To make things worse I had to assist him in entering his store club discount card and payment in the point of sale pad since it seemed beyond his faculties. The fact that he carried more money on him than I see in a month and had a wallet full of high-end credit cards did not help my mood any. I really hate it when stupid people make more money then I do.

I expected the worst and a few days later I started feeling poorly and then lapsed into horribleness. Fever, intestinal problems and the sensation of drowning in my own mucous lasted about four weeks total. Medicine did little to help and merely allowed me to keep on my feet, though one customer called the corporate office the complain I wasn't very upbeat and nice to her. She was apparently oblivious to my near-constant retching, coughing and difficulty standing without shaking. Don't people have anything better to do?

I guess it's also possible I got sick from the equipment but I doubt it. Some time ago the liquid sanitizer we used on the equipment was replaced with a gel that isn't suitable for wiping on keypads or phones. The glass cleaner we now use may be a poor substitute but I'm pretty fastidious about cleaning the gunk off my work spaces. So I'm pretty sure it was the jerk violently assaulting me by splashing his yellow/green lung fluids in my face that got me sick but ultimately...Who knows?

While the illness didn't cause much pain it did leave me exhausted by the end of the work day forcing me to ignore the site and place on hold various To Do projects. Curiously, during my hiatus of a week or so when I was not posting I received more followers, links and "likes" to the blog than I did during the last four months of regular updates.

And that hurt.

One shield to rule them all

Snagged this cool Captain America shield ring/cupcake topper from the bakery at work the other day. The shields are intended as value-added accessories to adorn cakes that a child or child-like fan can enjoy as a keepsake as a tie-in to the up-coming film Captain America, The First Avenger.

Unlike most of the official promotional items our bakery receives to be included on large and small decorated cakes the shield is remarkably well-constructed. Convex, the shield is firmly seated onto the mount and the paint job is clean, on-model and doesn't easily wear off. I had it in my coat pocket along with my car keys for three days and there isn't a scratch on it.

In comparison to the shield the Pirates of the Caribbean accessories were incredibly cheap and were of poor quality. The Pirates rings consisted of a flat recessed surface with a sticker placed within it. In the shipment we received most of the Pirates stickers were printed off-color and placed off-center. Like the last film, a truly disappointing experience for Depp fans.

I don't know how many Captain America-themed cupcakes we are are going to sell when the film comes out but kudos to the company that manufactured these what are primarily disposable toys.

MELTED ICE CREAM + RUINED MAGAZINES = HIGHER COST TO YOU

Sometimes my work day at my grocery store is filled with frustration and misery. Not from policies and procedures. Never by emergencies real or perceived. Long ago the military taught me what a real emergency was and how to keep calm during it. Nothing a high-rise building or a grocery store can throw at me gets me rattled. Losing your head just makes things worse. Usually it is the little things that repeat every minute all day long day after day that make me want to crawl into a supply cabinet, shut off the lights, curl up into a ball on the floor and hallucinate happier times.

It is usually the stunning amount of stupid I deal with all day that gives me migraines. Nearly everyone I meet acts the same way and has the same problem with the same equipment. It makes me think that the earth is populated by high-functioning zombies with only a rudimentary brain stem guiding their actions. I mean, HOW HARD IS IT TO USE A PAYMENT CARD? SWIPE A DISCOUNT KEY CHAIN TAG? READ A LABEL? ENTER A PHONE NUMBER? PUNCH IN A PIN NUMBER? REALLY? HUH?

To fix this, I propose that along with those already fantastic savings a customer receives by using their loyalty card at the grocery store that buyers should receive additional discounts when they successfully do any of the following (and only because maybe since common sense doesn't work and the use of cattle-prods outside the stockyards are illegal):

LOW, LOW PRICES!
A percentage off should be given to any customer that places their reusable bags in front of their order. 90% of the time the customer just stares while their entire order is bagged and then when everything is done and in the cart says "Oh, I have bags." And then wants everything taken out of plastic and put in their moldy, fungus-riddled, bacteria pockets. This is why we hate you.

On a side note, customers don't like when we throw the semi-used bags away or put them in the recycle bin and they typically remark or are hostilely emphatic that we should save them and use them for the next customer and their purchases. I am against that for a simple reason. Lets say a customer comes up with a bunch of fresh vegetables and the clerk uses a sack that the previous customer declined after their order was already bagged. As a new customer, would they be confident the bag wasn't used for insecticide, drain cleaner or meat products that leaked over the interior of the bag? What kinds of chemicals or toxins are getting transferred to that bundle of lettuce, loose carrots or box of baby cereal? Demand new bags or present your own bags at the start of the order. I do.

SILLY STRING THEORY
I think the existence of alternate universes are proven via the average grocery store. Because in what universe is it okay to just dump your hand basket of stuff on the belt and wait while we empty it, ring up your items and re-bag it? NOT THIS ONE. It really slows the lines down. So I think we should give 2% off any order where the customer empties their basket onto the belt AND then places the empty basket in a safe place under the checkout stand and not behind them on the floor so the next customer can trip and fall.

DID YOU JUST SPEND THE LAST THIRTY YEARS IN A CAVE?
I advocate giving a substantial discount to the entire purchase of anyone who can read the [expletive deleted] point of sale pad and figure out how to swipe a payment card without assistance and five minutes of wasted time. True, payment pads may differ from store to store but they are all similar and all have text instructions if not pictures detailing how to perform each step. As someone who works a register I am mystified that so many people are unable to perform a simple electronic payment function. Electronic payment cards have been around for about three decades, people! Catch up!

MELTED ICE CREAM + RUINED MAGAZINES = HIGHER COST TO YOU
4% off an order for any customer who decides they don't want their milk, ice cream, butter, meat or any other perishable item (heck, any item for that matter) and hands it to the cashier. A large part of any store's loss comes from spoiled items found dumped all over the store. Instead of stealthily depositing it in with the magazines, candy rack, on the floor or in a section that is not meant for it (don't put butter in the freezer, steaks in with the coffee, etc) give it to someone. I find ice cream left sitting in the magazine racks at the check stand nearly every day. IF YOU DON'T WANT IT, GIVE IT TO THE CASHIER.

"I'VE GOT TO GO, THE $%##@&! CHECKER IS WAITING."
Anyone who hangs up the cell phone, stops playing with their e-reader or removes their ear buds in order to pay attention to the order should get another 5% off their order.

THANK YOU. NO, THANK YOU. I MEAN IT. THANK YOU.
The last discount idea isn't an incentive for pulling a head out of an ass but a bonus for honesty because I'm actually shocked when it happens:

Anyone actually purchasing saffron instead of just stealing it should receive an extra 20% off that item. Those little bottles of spice cost nearly $20 a piece for a few threads of flavor enhancer and hardly anyone buys them. Usually ingredient-seekers just steal it. Where I work we only stock a few bottles at a time on the shelf but it is one of the most shoplifted items in our inventory. If saffron is stocked on Monday odds are the bottle is either stolen or opened and left empty by Tuesday. I'm actually to the point where I effusively thank any customer who actually purchases saffron.

"YOU BETTER GET MORE @%$#!^ CHECKERS OUT HERE! NOW!"
I'm not going to advocate that we give a discount to those customers who recognize that the employees are not robots, indentured servants or slaves. That should be the minimum expected and fines should be levied against any customer who acts out. I personally require customers to not be a-holeoids and expect them to act like human beings. Well, better human beings, actually. This doesn't apply to all customers. You know who you are. I've probably voided your order and kicked you out because of the way you have acted. Yes, I'm looking at YOU, snobby lady who voiced the opinion that "Mexicans shouldn't be allowed to shop in OUR store." If you are reading this please drop me a line and let me know what lucky establishment has had you as a customer these last two years.

FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS
Sometimes I don't understand people. The grocery business is the only industry I've ever worked in where people act like their human rights are being violated if they have to wait in line a few minutes. If lines to the cash register are long it isn't because the store is cruel or doesn't want to sell stuff. Likely it is all the people they have available.

"SHUT IT DOWN. SHUT IT ALL DOWN."
One job site I worked required me to start shutting departments early and sending staff home if the store did not make 80k in sales by noon. Falling short of that sales goal was an indicator that the store would not be profitable that day unless we cut operating costs. If you don't like the wait then please call and let the management know staffing isn't adequate. DON'T call and lie saying the staff wasn't helpful or ignored you. They can't magically poop trained and certified cashiers or clerks out of their butts. Overtime in most instances is not allowed so staff are required to leave when their shifts end, even if it is inconvenient to you. State and Federal laws determine when and how breaks and meal times are to be taken and it may not coincide a break in customer visits. FYI: Not going to a meal break on time means a large fine for the store from the state and usually results in the employee losing their job after three or less incidents.

WILL THINGS CHANGE?
Probably not. The economy is bad, sales are worse and there are few grocery stores that can operate with a full staff that might possibly be idle for a few minutes during the day. Under-staffed and hoping for the best is the standard operating procedure. One major grocery chain in San Diego is removing all the self-checkout lines because they are not profitable, taking up more time than they are worth. This won't mean a corresponding increase in cashiers either, just a sort of precarious balance in customers to staff. There will undoubtedly be good and bad experiences for customers when this happens.

"I DARE YOU TO CALL THE POLICE."
I have been assaulted by customers and witnessed the same to co-workers due to long lines (a five-ten minute wait at most). I have been punched, poked, screamed at and had canned foods thrown at me. One employee had a pizza whipped at her face like a Frisbee from a customer who refused to wait in line. Most recently, a cup of hot coffee was splashed over an employee by an angry customer at one of our job sites. Shrieking rage is often expressed at the staff. People have screamed curses, shaking with anger that since there are not "enough checkers" they are justified in walking out with their full baskets.

Ironically when areas of San Diego were devastated by fires a few years ago and hundreds of thousands of people were displaced civility was the rule. Stores were jammed with people buying supplies to use or donate for relief. I did not experience anyone acting out. They were patient, kind and for the most part realistic about goods running out (though one couple asked for a discount on spices and gourmet foods because their personal chef was inconvenienced by the quality of goods stocked in the hotel they occupied during the fire). I just wish that people acted on a typical Friday night like they did back during the brush fires.

Be patient, it isn't nine o'clock yet

Shortly after the opening credits to the 1965 Disney Films incredi-opus That Darn Cat starring Hayley Mills a bank of newspaper vending machines are shown curbside to a street. The troublesome feline, DC, on a nightly prowl of the town is schmoozing one of the antagonists of the film for food. DC follows the villain which eventually leads the cat into a kidnapper's den and kick-starts the adventure of a meddlesome kid and her pet.

While the vending stands vary slightly in design the common elements of the machines is that the newspapers are not secured and simply rest in an open rack. A slot cut into a box or tube is provided so a customer can insert a coin and then take a paper. My memories of 1965 are a bit hazy from the distance of years but one thing I do recall is that the hippies were everywhere stealing anything not nailed down or bartering for food by spewing plagiarized poetry as they cleaned out a fruit-stand.

Like today, I can't imagine that the honor system of paying for your goods resulted in anything but serious financial losses on the part of the vendor. In my world within a half an hour those racks would be empty and a gum wrapper would be shoved into the money slot. But on Main Street, USA the narcissistic villain being stalked by DC in the movie actually pays for each paper headlining the crime he perpetrated. I guess bank robbery and kidnapping can be a plot point in a Disney film but the studio was reluctant to show an actual crime in progress, no matter how petty. Either that or the villain was playing it cool and behaving so as not to draw attention to himself.

In the film the full vending stand attests that for the most part the unattended machines appear to be successful in practice. But would that honor system work anywhere but in the idealized Disneyverse? For the answer, let's ask Hayley Mills. She knows everything!

That's right, Hayley! In the real world machines and semi-unattended stands, even those inside stores within full view of cashiers and staff are routinely raided and emptied to be hawked by unofficial newsies at intersections and street corners all over the nation. So while art may have imitated life at one point it didn't take long for vendors to wise up and call for securely locking vending machines.

For those into head-knodding, finger-snappin' smooth tunes while waiting your turn to play the bongos at open stage night at the Coffee Bean here are the opening credits to 1965's That Darn Cat as sung by Bobby Darin. It's cool, Jones, cool. At the end of the clip you can see the newspaper stands being used in practice by bad guy Iggy, played by the scene-chewing Frank Gorshin.

And by the way...The remake should be burned, the ashes salted and the ashes burned again.

The only thing that would have made the remake watchable is if the bank-robbing kidnappers were the Gecko Brothers.

May Poison Food

Enough customers commented that these decorative "coffee lovers" planters in the form of over-sized cups would be great for soup or drinks that I finally just turned them all over on the display case so the warning on the underside could be seen. I also cautioned that raising herbs for cooking in the planter may result in poisonous herbs.

This is a warning label that makes sense, unlike those ones that state batteries or soap are not for consumption.

43 Cameras

Lot of cameras for a little store. I speculate fear of loss of product, or shrink, through theft is so high due to the low profit margins. A small establishment can not sustain for long the daily losses of $500-$1600 a day due to pilfering the larger chain stores can withstand (Photo taken in San Dieg0, April 2011).

I originally meant to post this yesterday

Ballpoint pens sticking out into the aisle at the perfect position and height to have a customer stabbed in the side or arm or, at worst, a child taking one in the face as they bop along with a parent. A fine example of what I have come to call The Culture of Half-Assedness.

Just duct tape a steak knife to the counter while you're at it.

In many industries, people often seem not to care and fail to think forwards for many reasons. In all cases the origin of that ethic is laziness. Doing things half-assed is a conscious decision. People feel they are too busy, perceive it doesn't matter because hard work doesn't pay off, doing the extra work or taking precautions are not appreciated or met with hostility by co-workers or managers.

Mostly this kind of work ethic does no harm and elicits only amusement. Poorly written signs and odd pricing are typically the result. Sometimes it is more serious and can be a work hazard.

Absurdly, I had to argue with people about the wisdom of placing the pens where they did. I actually had to present a convincing case to people to reposition the pens. Overwhelmingly the response was 'What's the big deal?? from most everyone. Sure, say that later when your performance bonus is cut by a big percentage due to failing the workplace safety audits and increased injury reports being filed. Also, the big deal is people can be hurt. Duh.

Then I had to do so twice more when the pens were repositioned so that anyone moving groceries on the belt or attempting to pay for their goods would risk being stabbed. So I had the pens moved again and this time they were placed so they stuck out into the cashier's work area. Scrapes, minor stabbings and ink stained work shirts ensued as the cashiers moved their arms through a space now occupied by something pointy.

Pro tip: Don't have sharp things point against the flow of traffic. Turn the pens around so the blunt end is facing people. Finally realizing that if I want something done right I'd have to do it myself, I placed the pens under under the counter so they are out of the way while the lanyard is long enough to allow the customer to use the pen.

These pens were a stupid idea anyways. They are cheap, constantly in the way and cause problems for the workers. Even placed under the counter the plastic lanyard, while long enough to reach the counter for use are too short not to get caught on product moving down the belt. The lanyard pulls taut and then launches the pen haphazardly into the air like a ballpointed whip. The ideal length of the pen lanyard would be a foot and a half of chain of the kind used in banks but when we install those type of pens the customers tear them off and take them with them.

Sealed With A...What?

My real-life true Valentine's Day story while at work and my conversation with one of the bakers as they set up a table of holiday cakes.

"So, what is this?"
"I dunno. They told me to decorate the heart cakes like those candy hearts. With words like Be Mine, UR Gr8, Luv You and SWAT."

"Yeah, SWAT. So what does SWAT mean?"

"Dunno. They just said SWAT."

"Maybe that was supposed to be SWAK."

"That doesn't make any sense."

"It does if you are saying Sealed With A Kiss."

"Oh, yeah. Well, they said SWAT."

"Sure they did. Okay, what's done is done. You can discount these tomorrow after Valentine's Day, right?"

They wonder why everything I say is prefaced with a heavy sigh.

New and Improved

Wondered what the customers were giggling about (my first instinct was not to look up) until I looked at the cash register and saw that the product abbreviation for Creamy Supreme frosting had an unfortunate and comical result.

Real receipt with a false header because of humorless bosses.

Art is Food

My current dietary choices do not include chips and other snacks these days but I found this store branding of munchies clever and unique. The product is identified on the bag and draws attention by the cute doodles centered around a chip or cheese puff. As marketing goes it is a pretty nice effort and goes beyond what one usually sees for labeling for a generic store product.

There are several illustrations but my favorite is the potato chip mouse being threatened by a venomous snake.

Special S

This speech balloon on the back of some boxes of crackers is supposed to be a means of affirmation for women with low self-esteem to feel better about themselves. The idea is that the customer writes on the back of the box what they expect to receive for eating allegedly low-calorie or small-volume snacks. They then become less depressed or something.

In reality it is affording the staff of some grocery stores plenty of opportunities for pranks where they write or place a sticker on the back of the box and replace it on the shelf, causing paininthebuttery to ensue.

Then of course, the company making the crackers is just foolish in encouraging people to upload their own affirmations and also allowing them to create their own commercial using the uploaded photo.

Heh. When will they learn?

Gone too soon and never was

Almost bought this until when leafing through it at the check stand I noticed that fictional people were included.

The exception to the rule

Typically I do not care for the great amount of waste that accompanies food at the retail or restaurant level. That's because I'm frugal (not meaning cheap, I want to use what I get). I have a greater problem with the amount of square tonnage of parsley wasted every year. Some eateries however prove to be the exception to the rule. For example this awesome BBQ Teriyaki chicken.

The food as it is presented at many dining establishments, particularly those of an Asian flavor, often have the meat resting on top of a layer of shredded cabbage or lettuce. There is a purpose to this not related to taking up plate area so it appears as if the customer is getting a huge pile of food. The shredded veggies serves to lift the meat up off the plate or serving dish, allowing the oil and grease from the cooking process to drain and remain below the portion.

Without the meat being suspended it would float in a pool of rapidly congealing fat. Some people consume the oil-soaked greenery and while incredibly delicious, it is not good for you in the long run. So using shredded vegetables is frugal and sensible even though it usually ends up in the trash. An alternative which would add to overhead costs would be to use a layered plastic mesh or grate of some sort to suspend the meat. This would require cleaning and the mesh or grate would not only resist attempts to be fully sanitized but would degrade over time and bits would be consumed by the patron during the course of the meal.

Carbon? Try reducing your stupidity footprint

Ultimately disposable paper coin banks that could be folded into the shape of the new energy-saving buses that were rolled out into service in San Diego were handed out by the hundreds, if not thousands to kids and parents a few weeks ago in a parking lot of the mall where I shop.

I wonder how many of these exist anywhere but a landfill by now? Once the novelty wore off , the nickel was removed or lost out of one of the folds and the buses were damaged by play I imagine they went right into the trash. Generating thousands of pounds of waste paper to tout an environmentally friendly bus doesn't make any sense at all. Kind of similar to the paper tags hung on bottles of soap claiming the product conserves water. Guys, you can't trade one for the other as IT IS ALL CONNECTED.

Yes, it was the same person

TODAY

Angry Customer: Is somebody going to help me in the bakery or not? I need someone to write 'Happy Birthday' on a cake.

Me: Well, at this late hour the bakery is closed and with the bakery staff gone we are not able to do much other than supply bags and boxes. None of the front end staff have Food Handler certifications and we are not allowed to prepare food for anyone.

Angry Customer: So I waited in line all this time for nothing? Thanks for nothing! All I wanted was someone to write on a damn cake.

Me: Ma'am, the law states we can't. It's for your protection.

Angry Customer: It's just a cake! So you refuse to help me?

Me: It isn't that. Again, the law says no one not certified in food preparation can do that for you. Surely you wouldn't want someone not trained, perhaps careless with what they've handled to touch a cake.

Angry Customer: That's ridiculous! I just want someone to write on a cake! I'll get someone else to help me.

Me: I'm sorry. I won't allow anyone without certification to use the bakery equipment or go behind the counter. I'd feel terrible if some child became sick. We have many cakes in the case that already have 'Happy Birthday' written on them. Can I get you one of those?

Angry Customer: Thanks for nothing!


TWO WEEKS EARLIER

Angry Customer: You. I wanna talk to you. I have a complaint.

Me: OK. How can I help you?

Angry Customer: That girl in the deli. She touched the slicer without changing her gloves before helping a customer. That's disgusting.

Me: I'm very sorry. I'll take care of that right away.

Angry Customer: Don't they take a class or go to school or something to learn about that? Don't they need to pass a test or something?

Me: Yes, they do. I'll take care of it right away. I'm sure it was a mistake and it won't happen in the future.

Angry Customer: It better not! That's disgusting.

All this occurred without any apparent irony or self-awareness on the part of the customer.

They told me a fairy story

Variously described by its creators as a song bemoaning the commercialization of Christmas or the loss of innocence, I Believe In Father Christmas by Greg Lake and Peter Sinfield has been a popular entry of the holiday season since 1974. Careful compilers of packaged Christmas tunes for CDs and shopping mall background music may take pains not to include this song among the collections as it has been often received as having an anti-religion theme. I myself am usually surprised to hear it in a mall because of its reputation. Then again, stores seem to have no compunction against playing during all the other months of the year the song Turning Japanese, a racially insensitive tune some claim to be referencing masturbation.

The official video I Believe In Father Christmas contains Vietnam War era imagery and received criticism for including such topics. This lends credence to the proposal that most people really misunderstood the meaning of the song, even if it is open to some interpretation. I included the lyrics so one may judge for themselves.

I Believe In Father Christmas has been covered by a number of artists. Greg Lake brought it over from his solo effort to the band Emerson, Lake and Palmer with which he was a member of but its most recent success was the cover performed by the band U2.

They said there'll be snow at Christmas
They said there'll be peace on Earth
But instead it just kept on raining
A veil of tears for the Virgin's birth

I remember one Christmas morning
A winters light and a distant choir
And the peal of a bell and that Christmas Tree smell
And their eyes full of tinsel and fire

They sold me a dream of Christmas
They sold me a Silent Night
And they told me a fairy story
'Till I believed in the Israelite

And I believed in Father Christmas
And I looked at the sky with excited eyes
'Till I woke with a yawn in the first light of dawn
And I saw him and through his disguise

I wish you a hopeful Christmas
I wish you a brave New Year
All anguish pain and sadness
Leave your heart and let your road be clear

They said there'll be snow at Christmas
They said there'll be peace on Earth
Hallelujah Noel be it Heaven or Hell
The Christmas you get you deserve.

You're the architect!

At two pages covering three different sizes, the assembly instructions for the retail floor cardboard display stand of the DVD movie Inception is more complicated than the film itself.

I don't understand why this is even happening

Photo taken in San Diego, 11-9-10