Paper or plastic?

People that go to the store to buy just one apple and then ceaselessly giggle over the product code being '4020' is probably one of the greatest arguments there is against legalizing marijuana. Can't you kids handle it? It's embarrassing. Seriously, not cool.

I imagine a bio-degradable pipe that can be eaten or disposed of otherwise is easier than throwing a metal pipe out the window when the cop car lights turns on and is cheap enough to keep buying so mom won't find anything incriminating while searching your room. But are you really fooling anyone? Most telling is when I give the group of teen-aged girls purchasing just one apple among the six of them my best fatherly disapproving stare and one starts eating it, meekly claiming, "I'm really only just hungry."

Sure you are, sweetie.

Honestly? Don't care. Just make the penalties while driving under the influence or being stupid while intoxicated too horrifying to contemplate. If this keeps up some politician is going to demand that like cigarettes no one under 18 can buy fruit.

You can bet that when Hayley Mills buys an apple it is for eating.

Q and A

Came across this research website with an unanswered query about film star Hayley Mills and knew that it was up to me to provide peace to her fans.

No other answer possible.

FYI, this entry of Monday With Hayley Mills also marks the 6th blogiversary of Lady, That's My Skull.

Caroline is back, but not in the US

After an absence, Hayley Mills as Caroline returns to the cast of Wild at Heart (2009).

Man, this show is hard to find. Mostly they are all Region 2 formats or medium quality rips from incomplete online sources like the place I found this clip. There should be a law that all media related to Hayley Mills should be All Region. Really, the various movie media empires need to get it together or end up in the same trash can as the music industry. There are fine films, some featuring Hayley, that can only be found as bootleg DVDs ripped from a VHS source or poor quality tapes from online auctions. The film industries don't want their catalogs to be copied and made free to everyone with an internet connection but they don't want to make them available either. I get the DVD market might be a loss for many movies out there as they would only have niche buyers but how hard is it to make a digital copy of an out of print film and put it up for streaming? Not very, according to Netflix.

Right now there are three classic Hayley Mills films I want to own but have to purchase as old VHS tapes from online listings. That is assuming I can get past the typical auction site sock puppets that many sellers have in place to prevent their item being sold at a less than an artificially inflated price or the vultures that hover over a bid and pounce using bidding software. I had to use a piece of software to successfully win a bid for some Land of the Lost memorabilia some time ago, as I kept getting outbid by a few cents at the very last possible second. I really don't mind paying the "Buy It Now" price for many items but when the expected bid for an item is $35 and the BIN is over $150 then you can be pretty sure the fix is in for the auction and it is a waste of time to enter a bid.

And the big risk of a thirty year old video tape is that it will get ruined by the equally aged player the first time I put it in the machine, leaving the world a lesser place for having lost a Hayley Mills film for the crime of trying to watch a movie. Maybe another ten or fifteen years will see big changes in the media business model that doesn't alienate consumers but by that time I may only be interested in collecting my medication and adult diapers. The future can't come fast enough.

The Million-Dollar Pixie

Years before Cosmopolitan magazine became known as Cosmo and advocated that liberated, independent, strong, intelligent and powerful women keep a married man on the side to help pay the bills movie star Hayley Mills appeared on the cover, goofing around and reinforcing a young image.Cosmopolitan used to be a well-rounded periodical of not only light articles but some in-depth investigative stories as well. From the December 1962 cover Hayley Mills talks about how her family keeps her grounded, the ways the young women of Moscow are defying Cold War stereotypes of behavior and fashion and the growing number of adults who are taking care of grandchildren born by unwed mothers. I'd like to present the Hayley Mills family-centric article "The Million-Dollar Pixie" in its entirety but laying the magazine flat enough to scan the pages would cause them to separate from the binding. I'll leave that sort of damage to those who cut ads and art out of vintage magazines and sell them online. So instead of the fascinating Hayley article I'll present a few pages of interior artwork instead.

Like many other magazines of the time a lot of page space was filled with fiction and non-fiction stories. For my tastes it isn't so much the writing and authors that are of interest but the art and illustrations that accompanied the stories. Frequently the art is classic and highly skilled and is widely appreciated as a stylistic snapshot of the era. Of all the art in this issue of Cosmopolitan it is the two pages that accompany the "complete mystery novel" Snow Job by Malcolm Gair, illustrated by Mitchell Hooks that I like the most. I've got a thing for duo-tone (or nearly so) magazine illustrations.

He put out his hand to throw back the bedclothes, but Sally caught his arm in
her long tanned fingers and stopped him. "You're doped," she said.

When he got to the low point of the cliff, he looked up.
On top stood a figure with a large stone poised to throw.

Cosmopolitan changed in the way it did to stay relevant and alive by appealing to a young, trendy and orgasm-conscious female demographic. While not the New Yorker by any means it was not a bad magazine at all and was likely better than many it competed with on the news stands. The change in the magazine was a sign of what was happening in the publishing industry as a whole at the time. The fact is if Cosmopolitan didn't change to increase readers and ad revenue when it did it would probably have ceased publication decades ago and been all but forgotten. I'm glad that Hayley wasn't featured in the magazine during a time when the cover would feature "new" sex positions and ways to drive your man wild in bed.

A star on earth and the heavens

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

New comet found

San Diego, Ca. - (HMCC News Service) - Dedicated staff at the Hayley Mills Celebratory Complex Orbital Space Platform have announced the discovery of a new comet. Originally detected by the HMCC Deep Space Telescope in April 2011 the object was confirmed as a comet in a joint effort by NASA and the HMCC.

A preliminary orbit calculated by the HMCC has determined that the newly discovered comet, named HAYLEY-BOPP by an overwhelming number of raised hands supporting the designation, will swing by the planet earth in an orbit roughly the same distance from the Sun to the planet Venus.

Scientists have reported that the comet is unusual in its chemical make-up. Rather then the "dirty snowball" of ice and frozen gases that most comets are made of HAYLEY-BOPP is unique and atypical. The HMCC has determined through rigorous peer-reviewed science that HAYLEY-BOPP is made of pure, crystal clear water as clean as a mountain spring. "Cleaner, even." Claims the staff of the HMCC. "We suspect that the water is so pure that if a Maryland sewer rat were exposed to this celestial super-fluid it would transform into an immortal puppy that barks rainbows."

Below is the first photograph of comet HAYLEY-BOPP as recorded by the HMCC Deep Space Telescope. Coincidentally, the comet structurally resembles screen and television star Hayley Mills.
"Not so unusual." Claims Sleestak, the leader of the HMCC. "In a mysterious, infinite universe it is inevitable that Hayley Mills will appear almost everywhere you look. We all expected as much, hence the need for the Deep Space Telescope. It merely confirmed what we already knew, that Hayley Mills totally rules not only on earth but in space as well."

The HMCC also reports that while the path of HAYLEY-BOPP will bring it relatively near earth the distances between the orbits of the comet and the earth are "mind-boggling" and HAYLEY-BOPP is no threat to the planet. Says Sleestak: "HAYLEY-BOPP poses no danger to the earth at all, though of course there are always some doom cultists that are scared of things they don't understand. Yesterday the HMCC received a fax from the Lindsay Lohan Fan Club signed by both members pronouncing doom unless the comet is stopped and sent back into space. Oh, and Lindsay wants to know why Hayley won't return her calls."

Take me to...Teen Street!

As part of the Disney marketing machine supporting the film In Search of the Castaways starring Maurice Chevalier and Hayley Mills, 1962 also saw the release of the elder and younger star hosting a concept album called Teen Street. Featuring a romance theme the idea behind Teen Street was that teenagers are not only the same all over the world but similar from one generation to the next. The album is a bit myopic culturally and has the standard Disney idealization of what life is like.

The album showcases established recording stars like Disney-staple Annette Funicello and relatively unknown performers getting some exposure that is surely low-risk to the studio. Billy Storm and Gary Shortall both have some good entries to the album. Annette Funicello and the Sylte Sisters add no surprises with entries pretty typical for the young teen market sought by Disney. One song listeners may take exception with is The Wildest as sung by Shortall (22:02). While not his fault the tune sounds so derivative of Dion's The Wanderer that lawyers for the Laurie label must have been high-fiving each other for months after the release, assuming Gary U.S. Bonds didn't have his people all over it first. Pushover by Storm and Rovin' Eyes by Shortall are good listens and I recommend them.

Disappointingly for most fans, Maurice and Hayley do not sing on this album. The soundtrack to Castaways would have been doing well enough at the time and Teen Street was undoubtedly using combined star power to promote sales. They serve only as hosts with Maurice doing most of the talking, introducing the songs in something of a cohesive narrative about young people finding love. The album is mostly referenced for the fun cover featuring Maurice and Hayley dancing on a cartoon street.

You can listen to the entire album as one file here:

Here is the track list:

Side One
Teen Street - Group Vocal
Walkin' and Talkin' - Annette
Pushover - Billy Storm
Double Feature Movie - Sylte Sisters
Rovin' Eyes - Gary Shortall
Cinderella Jones - Sylte Sisters

Side Two
Double Date - Billy Storm
Two Against the World - Annette
The Wildest - Gary Shortall
Good Girl - Billy Storm
Teenage Wedding - Annette
To Be Continued - Sylte Sisters

The Mills Family

Hayley Mills, sister Juliet and parents John and Mary at poolside.

From Cosmopolitan (December 1962).

Be patient, it isn't nine o'clock yet

Shortly after the opening credits to the 1965 Disney Films incredi-opus That Darn Cat starring Hayley Mills a bank of newspaper vending machines are shown curbside to a street. The troublesome feline, DC, on a nightly prowl of the town is schmoozing one of the antagonists of the film for food. DC follows the villain which eventually leads the cat into a kidnapper's den and kick-starts the adventure of a meddlesome kid and her pet.

While the vending stands vary slightly in design the common elements of the machines is that the newspapers are not secured and simply rest in an open rack. A slot cut into a box or tube is provided so a customer can insert a coin and then take a paper. My memories of 1965 are a bit hazy from the distance of years but one thing I do recall is that the hippies were everywhere stealing anything not nailed down or bartering for food by spewing plagiarized poetry as they cleaned out a fruit-stand.

Like today, I can't imagine that the honor system of paying for your goods resulted in anything but serious financial losses on the part of the vendor. In my world within a half an hour those racks would be empty and a gum wrapper would be shoved into the money slot. But on Main Street, USA the narcissistic villain being stalked by DC in the movie actually pays for each paper headlining the crime he perpetrated. I guess bank robbery and kidnapping can be a plot point in a Disney film but the studio was reluctant to show an actual crime in progress, no matter how petty. Either that or the villain was playing it cool and behaving so as not to draw attention to himself.

In the film the full vending stand attests that for the most part the unattended machines appear to be successful in practice. But would that honor system work anywhere but in the idealized Disneyverse? For the answer, let's ask Hayley Mills. She knows everything!

That's right, Hayley! In the real world machines and semi-unattended stands, even those inside stores within full view of cashiers and staff are routinely raided and emptied to be hawked by unofficial newsies at intersections and street corners all over the nation. So while art may have imitated life at one point it didn't take long for vendors to wise up and call for securely locking vending machines.

For those into head-knodding, finger-snappin' smooth tunes while waiting your turn to play the bongos at open stage night at the Coffee Bean here are the opening credits to 1965's That Darn Cat as sung by Bobby Darin. It's cool, Jones, cool. At the end of the clip you can see the newspaper stands being used in practice by bad guy Iggy, played by the scene-chewing Frank Gorshin.

And by the way...The remake should be burned, the ashes salted and the ashes burned again.

The only thing that would have made the remake watchable is if the bank-robbing kidnappers were the Gecko Brothers.

The Moon-Spinners comic book adaptation

In years past if there was a movie or television show it was probably made into a one-shot comic book by the Whitman, Gold Key or Dell Comics book companies. They were all of varying quality as quickie marketing tie-ins but some are stand-outs. Hayley Mills has received several comic book treatments of her films most notably Summer Magic which was drawn by comic book artist Russ Heath.

Today for Monday With Hayley Mills I present the comic book adaptation of the Disney film The Moon-Spinners from 1964. The art is credited to accomplished veteran Dan Spiegle. Now, Dan gets a lot of flack from fans that isn't entirely deserved. He is lumped together, sometimes with contempt, into those work-horse artists that were relied upon to do a quick job within deadline. His style sometimes sacrifices the fine line work that most fans expected after the 1970s but as a reader who appreciates storytelling ability his work rarely disappoints.

Spiegle worked on a fondly remembered DNAgents run but for a real insight into his work check out the Gold Key issues of Mickey Mouse #107-109. Mickey Mouse, Secret Agent is a classic and truly bizarre story where funny animals interacted with realistically rendered humans and scenery. For the most part prior to that story arc anthropomorphic critters remained in a cartoon world of cartoon physics that did not cross over into other more realistic though equally fictional realms. The film version of Who Framed Roger Rabbit has its spiritual if not direct roots in that story arc. It is a bit surreal to witness human beings not even blinking when a talking mouse in a trench coat shows up at their door. Character interactions of that type are not observed very often currently as the audience is considered to cool, aware or jaded to go with the story. There is usually some qualifier thrown in to make the reader forgive the ridiculousness of a funny animal, such as the oft-stated "Y-You're a duck!" in the Howard the Duck series.

The Moon-Spinners is Hayley Mills' fifth of the six films she did for Disney. While not a financial success at the time it has a life among fans that crowd the Hayleydome in the HMCC for the Hayley-Con film festivals. Hayley is great as always in a film remembered for its scenery and light romantic subplot against a story of murderous jewel thieves. While not quite as dark as The Truth About Spring the film has been described as a bit more suspenseful than the novel from which it was adapted.

Click the cover for a download link to a PDF of the complete 1964 Gold Key comic book The Moon-Spinners.

Hayley Hayley

Me and Hayley sitting in the backseat cruising with some pals, listening to some tunes on the 8-Track.

Here is the band Prefab Sprout with their 1986 shout out to Hayley Mills, Goodbye Lucille #1 more popularly known as Johnny Johnny.

Still in love with her? Perfectly understandable. Who isn't?

Not a lazy Sunday post.

Moon-Spinners Pin-Up

Here is a cute and adorable pin-up from the 1964 Gold Key comic book adaptation of The Moon-Spinners featuring Hayley Mills. This image is actually the back cover so it caught some contact damage over the years. I cleaned up the image repairing the wear and tear and enhanced the colors which while charming, are an artifact of the inexpensive mid-1960s color printing process. This pin-up is now suitable for framing, and is at my house and the main office of the HMCC.

While most of the Gold Key/Whitman film and television adaptations appeared slapped out fairly quickly they usually did a groovy yet appealingly minimalist job on the layouts of the pin-ups.

We all believe in silver linings and rainbows

It's Monday! That means it is Monday With Hayley Mills at Lady, That's My Skull!

Trivia! Did you know that I've been told Lady, That's My Skull features more items about Hayley Mills than her agent does? Wow!

It was in 1963 that Disney and Hayley Mills gave the world the feel-good film Summer Magic, the fourth of six films that Hayley would make with Walt Disney Studios. Originally conceived as a vehicle for Annette Funicello for some maddening reason, Hayley was cast in the part of the Pollyana-ish member of the Carey family, Nancy. As the person who saved her family from personal and financial disaster by sheer good attitude as the character of Nancy the film added to the box office appeal of Hayley Mills.

Trivia! Did you know that the United States would have lost the Cuban Missile Crisis war except for the fact that once Khrushchev, the leader of Communism, discovered Hayley Mills was cast in Summer Magic he conceded defeat? It's true!

The Disney merchandising machine wasn't idle either and the company easily capitalized on the popularity of Hayley and co-star Burl Ives with a soundtrack release that produced a number of hit tunes for the youth market. There was a moderate amount of other licensed merchandise also that is getting increasingly hard to find in good condition. One of those items is the paper doll set featuring Hayley Mills where she can be dressed in fashions from the movie. While I have not punched out the cut-outs from my copy you can be assured that I have reprinted the pages from various sources and dressed Hayley up in clothing as befits a proper young lady.

And now, you can too! As one can observe from the vast selection of period styles available there are several hours of good, clean fun that can be had from dressing up Hayley. I'd suggest against using the accompanying "Julia" fashions though because she is a bit of a pill.

A Romantic Warning To Hayley Mills!

This week's Monday With Hayley features a bit of finger-wagging from a January 1968 article to actress Hayley Mills.

For several years Hayley Mills was a number one box office draw and a favorite sweetheart to not only America, but a large part of the world as well. As she aged into adulthood she faced what many child stars had to deal with, studios and a public unwilling to see past the adorable child and accept them in ever maturing roles. Fortunately for Hayley Mills her adorableness remained in full force and she did not suffer from what would later be called the "Roddy McDowell Curse" in which a once fetching, cute and competent child actor transforms via puberty into weird, off-putting creepy adult. Others in the acting profession that labored under the curse are Danny Bonaduce, Natalie Wood, Wil Wheaton and most famously, Lindsay Lohan.

The majority of failing child actors of today descend into a spiral of drugs and other abuses that cause them to strap on Acme brand rocket skates as they travel the jogging trail to Obscuritytown. Their antics and public foibles give gossip magazines ample content to accompany out of context or manipulated photos. For the most part Hayley Mills in her transition to adult actress managed to avoid the usual pitfalls of others in her profession. Gossip magazines had little to use that wasn't positive until her relationship with Roy Boulting became public.

It was on the set of the 1966 film The Family Way that 20 years old Hayley Mills and 53 years old director Roy Boulting began a relationship that would lead to marriage in 1971 and ultimately a divorce in 1977. Her relationship became something of a scandal for the time. Obvious parallels to "Daddy issues" were bandied about though much of the gossip was reserved and somewhat polite. In spite of popular culture becoming immersed in the marketing of free love and the sexual revolution many people were uncomfortable with their idea of Hayley in a relationship with a man so much her senior. In Teen Love Stories an article appeared that not only giddily promoted her new film but also offers some disapproval by scolding Hayley on her relationship with Boulting. The article even hints at some sort of Svengali-like influence being perpetrated on a young Hayley from the older Director. Only Hayley Mills herself could comment if the pairing was love or not. I'd like to think it was.

Introducing: Hayley Mills

While every day is Hayley Mills Day at the HMCC, a new continuing feature of Lady, That's My Skull is Monday with Hayley, featuring Hayley Mills the star of stage, screens both big and small and the dreams of millions.

And what better way to start this feature by showcasing the screen debut of America's eternal sweetheart from the 1947 film So Well Remembered, the British class warfare story of a progressive newspaper man fighting the uncaring industrial and social system that exploited and ravaged his hometown. Actor John Mills, known for making his movies a family affair, brought along daughters Hayley and Juliet for parts in the film. Hayley Mills receives an uncredited appearance as an orphaned infant, adopted by Trevor Howard who plays the drunken town doctor who may have botched the delivery and caused the death of her mother.

If anyone watching the film is unsure which of the many infants in this classic movie is Hayley all doubt is removed in this scene shared by Trevor Howard and father John Mills. Her striking eyes are unmistakable and in her face you can clearly see the features that would soon light up the screen.

Adorable!